I’m supposed to post something today but I’m too busy cleaning the crust out of Yasi’s bachelor pad while she’s in Asia yukking it up with men in suits. A few things I’ve discovered about Yasi whilst cat-sitting:

1) Her cat enjoys doing dishes and taking showers with me, and based on the constant sound of the toilet seat tapping around between the hours of midnight and 6am, enjoys taking night swims when she thinks no one’s watching. Not normal.

2) She has bags and bags and bags filled with unused purchases from Givenchy shoes to American Apparel whatevers. She’s like that chick from Confessions of a Shopaholic except with more H&M layering pieces. And everything is goth black.

3) Her car was more fucked up than The Virgins’ tour van after two months on the road until I took it to the car wash, where three men took 45 minutes to clean it to safe conditions. Pigpen was dead in the trunk. Hey-o!

4) There is more graffiti, basketball paraphernalia, dude movies and rap music in her apartment than my boyfriend’s wet dream.*

5) Yasi is one of the only truly intelligent, interesting people I know in LA and I don’t understand why you idiots haven’t tried to wife this bitch. No homo.

Seacrest OUT!

* I don’t have a gd boyfriend

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