This week on IgnoredPrayers.com, we received this late breaking news! The King of Pop himself, Michael Jackson, is auctioning off all his shit. Seriously… In doing so we get a further peek into the absolute ridiculousness and pedophilia drenched life of the star. That being said I want a lot of this stuff.

Like this gem… A Macaulay Culkin Original…

Obviously inspired by Pollack’s “Drip Period” from 1947-1950. Truly capturing the “abstract expressionism,” one can really feel his full release… or was that MJ’s full release? Moving on…

Here is a portrait of Michael Jackson dressed as a king, oil on canvas, signed and dated 1995 and housed in an elaborate gold frame. Guide price $4,000-$6,000. This guy is fucking epic.


Make sure you peep the King Jaffe Joe jewelery also on the website. Hardbody.

Ok so next we have a basketball from Michael Fucking Jordan!
Michael Jordan guys!!! It reads To Michael, Looking forward to meeting you. Take care, Michael Jordan.
What! I am surprised this didn’t fuck up the earth’s rotation upon delivery!
Honestly, in my alternate reality I prefer to live in, this is how Michael Jordan sends mail, bypassing traditional Postal Service’s methods and simply just shooting the ball, ok mail rather, to the recipient.
Nothing but net, he’s that good.

Going forward we get a little more creepy with MJ’s electric golf cart which is personalized with this running Peter Pan “I’ll never grow up” horseshit of an excuse to be a full blow Pedo theme. Check this out:


Ay yi yi…

Next up Edward Scissorhands’ Scissorhands:

Pretty sick! Unfortunately the state of California has barred me from bidding on this item due to my excessive drinking… fair enuff.

I am over it anyways…
Why you ask?
That’s a stupid question.
Fuck it, I’ll tell you anyways. In real time, as you read this, I am getting rid of my bed and contents of my bedroom in hopes that I am the high bidder on this guy.
A Sega Flight Simulator…

Wanna know how to get laid before all you friends in 6th grade? (see above)

How about a Swarvoski crystal encrusted glove?

Rhinestone socks?

Maybe a “Neverland Ranch” Gate?

FYI: Federal Law prohibits this from being within 200 yards of a school, I live 2 blocks from one so happy bidding…

That’s all right because I feel like my whole life has been leading up to this next item. A must have. And even though I know I cannot afford it, I will be bidding on it cause, whatever, fuck that, it’s that sick.

Ladies and Gents, I give you the motherfucking robotic Michael Jackson head featured at the climax of his 1988 film Moonwalker, when he transforms into a robot and defeats Joe Pesci’s evil character, Mr Big.


The robotic head lights up as each piece of the face pushes out and expands before retracting back into the shape of Jackson’s face. It still animates at the push of a button.
Yahtzee!!!

So there you have it folks. The King Is broke. Thank God for this recession is all I can say!

See some more auction items here… Or here!

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